All communication between two people in a relationship depends on one of them taking the step to reach out and the other responding in turn. For relationships to succeed, the initiator's performance must motivate the other person and spark his or her desire to communicate.
An initiator may act in a way that provokes negative reactions, and must then try again to correct the course. Responsiveness may weaken after a mistake, and communication and the desire to engage become difficult in the situation where your manner, your words or your actions went wrong.
Good performance in initiating communication gives you a golden opportunity to influence your relationship positively, and with an accumulation of positives you can reach success.
Your relationship requires more effort than you expect, especially in communication, and your communication certainly depends on your role and the role of your life partner. There may be many complaints that positive initiative in communication is pointless, but the result will be negative for your relationship if you do nothing, or if your spouse does nothing in return.
The Relationship and the Stages of Communication
For a relationship to begin, one party must take the initiative and the other must respond by accepting communication first. Then the relationship between the woman and the man moves to the stage of meeting and finding points of agreement. The relationship starts to develop until it reaches agreement on commitment.
The Second Stage
A stage in which both partners wish to live together by their own desire. Each seeks to engage with the other's behavior, and each begins to act naturally, to deal with the other and to voice his or her opinion on how to share life. Because they want to grow closer, you find them giving up some of their habits.
If the sharing is acceptable between the spouses, the woman and the man, the relationship has moved to the stage of emotional attachment and psychological bonding.
If daily dealings and living together are comfortable and satisfying for them, the relationship reaches the stage of understanding and compatibility, and we can say the relationship is stable and successful. It remains successful if personal harmony in dealing and sharing continues between them. Psychological presence and emotional attention determine the degree of stability of spouses and loved ones, and lead to their trust in the relationship, in each other, and their reliance on it.
Knowing Yourself First Is a Condition for Success:
If you are seeking to establish a new relationship or looking for a solution to your current one, you must start from the beginning: start by getting to know yourself, facing yourself, and being frank about the needs you focus on first.
- Your goals for your relationship, as you describe them yourself.
- Your traits that you know in yourself and hold on to.
- Your interests that you insist on and do not wish to give up.
- Your communication and behavior in dealing with others, and whether you find it sufficient or weak.
- Some of your negative habits that hurt your partner.
- Your view of the relationship, the roles of the man and the woman, and the bond between them.
- The traits of your personality in communication, your emotionality and your sociability.
- Your beliefs about communication, sharing and interaction.
If you write down all the details that concern you and get to know yourself, you should ask yourself whether that information is necessary for the relationship, how important it is to you, and whether it affects your relationship.
Consider how each piece of that information affects your personality and your relationship. Then you will know what leads to a response from the other party. You can also pick one of your behaviors that affects your relationship negatively.
Getting to Know Your Partner's Personality:
To be able to communicate within your relationships, you must ask yourself about the matters your life partner cares about. All the information about his or her needs and interests matters to him or her. When you communicate with the one you love, pay attention to the needs he or she is thinking about, and notice how often he or she repeats talking about certain matters and insists on them.
- What needs does he or she expect from you, and what do you mean to him or her in your view?
- What matters in your communication and sharing, and what behavior is he or she thinking about?
- Do you know what behavior he or she focuses on when communication begins?
- What messages does he or she send you at every meeting?
- Are there negative habits he or she knows about in himself or herself?
- Does your partner in your relationship have communication skills?
- How does he or she express communication and feelings?
Your answers show you his or her personal reality, the capabilities he or she has, and his or her pressing and important desires.
When you get to know his or her personality, you should ask yourself whether there is a clear gap between you, and if there is a clear gap, what the next step is.
